I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 16

[LH19]

I spent last night dealing with the urge to text him "I miss you". UGH... where is that coming from ???? Of course I miss him. But, my brain knows he is done with me and wants nothing to do with me. It would just be a big push. Thank goodness I just went to bed.

Your brain wants you to pursue to so it can alleviate the pain your are in right now. Understand why this is happening and understand pursuit will make matters worse and just sit with it.

Trying to analyze where my anxiety is coming from --- he has not brought up the FO, Atty or D in over 5 weeks. Which means its due to be brought up soon. He is coming next week to pick up mail and personal paperwork from file cabinet. Will get his paperwork from his atty from his previous D trigger him to bring up our D?

There is no sense fearing the future because it's uncertain right now and will always be uncertain.

Its easy for my brain to lull me into thinking that because he is not pushing as hard as he was 2months ago that maybe he doesn't want to rush any of this any longer. Maybe he is still dealing with some sort of doubt?

It's doing it's job by trying to protect you.

But, then I sit and tell myself if that were the case then he wouldn't be texting and trying to insure the cable was not in his name... if it was not why was he getting information on the bill, etc. If he was starting to have doubts about going through a second D then he wouldn't suddenly state he wasn't going to come to S18 party because it would be awkward.

That's your logical brain and it is more reliable right now.

So I'm sitting with the idea that perhaps I should just move things forward? That puts me in control and then I no longer spend my time thinking... is this the day he texts/calls about D? Or, I get a notice that he finally has atty? But, the thought of all that work is exhausting to me... very exhausting. I will admit that I've been behaving like an ostrich with my head in the sand... i just don't want to acknowledge it let alone deal with it.

Push it forward only if it benefits you.

Then the other half of me is like... what if I fast track everything... and he was really trying to sit with his feelings and figure things out but I derail that by pushing it forward?

Highly unlikely. Again, only if it benefits you.

[b]Believe nothing he says... and 50% of what he does. Does that still apply in my situation????

Look at his actions.

He wanted to be done so badly in the beginning. There was so much anger. If he is dragging his feet now... any hope that he is doubting his current choices?

This again is your brain looking for some relief. Do you want me to tell you he is having second thoughts? How would that change things? Then you will be hung up in the denial phase longer. You have to go through the process one way or another.