Finding myself

[ovrrnbw]

Hi rdy,

girls and guys communicate certain things differently and we have all been guilty of seeing what we want to see instead of what is really there. Detachment allows us to process situations logically and is the biggest thing stopping you from seeing this as it is.

He just says she wont leave and it does not matter because he is not there anyways.

Mhmm.

I of course ask why this girl is still there and ask if he slept with her or something to make her stay. He insists he did not that his best friend did and he was planning to make her leave.

Mhmm..

He is adamant there is nothing going on between them that they are just friends and he will make her leave when he is sick enough of it and he does not care if it ruins their friendship. I have no real reason not to believe him.

Mhmm....

However one thing he was always adamant with me about in the beginning was that he does not have sex with people he does not care about. I would like to believe he sticks to this core value and I am the only one he is having sex with.

This one really stood because his core value is he has to care about you to sleep with you, and this does not restrict him from caring about multiple women.

This stuff is close, but it doesn't add up. He gets it close, but not all the way there, so that he has an out, an "AHA, but I didn't actually say that I said XYZ not XY". You know this in your heart of hearts. Healthy R's don't make it to this board.

There are lots of men out there who will pursue a normal, healthy relationship. You aren't looking for them in the right places and instead you are shacked up with this guy who is incapable of giving you a normal, healthy relationship. Forget about this guy and move on with your life. He may never get it together. Get your life together so that when Mr. Right shows up you are healthy enough to realize it.

Good luck!