I mean, how can one DB and connect? Detaching and Connecting are the exact opposite!
In what world do you think that trying to connect with him right now is the right move? As LH says, you let him come to you! First of all, you are way to early in his ending the PA, if that is really what he has done, to even trust things enough to try connecting with him. That time my come, but he has earned you detaching right now, and he should also earn you reconnecting too!
And as far as detachment, so many LBSs struggle with this. Detachment is about being content and happy by yourself. Putting your happiness in the hands of someone else is never healthy. First, it puts way too much pressure on the other person. They have their own happiness to be in control of, you can't expect them to be in control of yours too! Further, codependency is always a terrible thing. We live in an imperfect world. Your H could be gone due to death at any moment. You need to be enough of a completely whole person in order to be able to move on. SOmetimes the term "detachment" confuses people. Google: "self-differentiation in marriage" for more information on what it should really look like.
And I want to repeat something else LH said to you: STOP BELIEVING ANYTHING HE SAYS. One thing you can count on WSs to do is to lie. If their their lips are moving they are lying.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
