We talked about him moving out this morning. He is continuing to refuse. His idea is to move to the office or the basement. I said I didn't think he could fully experience what it would be like to be S and what an R with AP would look like in either place, also that it would be incredibly painful for me. He doesn't buy this. He doesn't believe that I won't get over this and magically be his best friend once I get over the initial shock of him leaving me for another woman.
He says I can't make him leave. I said I will file for D. He said he'll fight me for the house. It got nasty fast. I discontinued it. I told him I found a studio apartment for a decent price, which sparked his interest briefly and then he dismissed as "must be a $hithole" because of the price. Should I lay out what it might look like and be acceptable for me if he lives down here? From some things he said this morning, I think he thinks he can move down here and people won't know about the A or even that we're really S. But I see this as a total half-a$$ed move towards S, total cake-eating, with a veeeery long time frame before they get to a point where she'd MO here and he'd get a place with her, with him not really experiencing the loss of the MR and me not being able to heal.
Pure. Emotional. Abuse. "I don't care what you want or how it affects you, I am going to do it the way I want. And if you do not allow me I will escalate!"
may, he is right. You can't make him leave. But you can kick him out of the MBR, file for D, and then just see what takes place. He may fight you for the house. He may not. But you are right, he is cake-eating. Badly. And do not let the distance fool you. Yes she is 5000 miles away, but that could change once he really does S or D. She is probably taking a "wait and see", to see how serious he is about being with her. Note, this does not change what you need to do. Whether they are physically together or not, they have been. And will be again, whether you respect yourself and stand up for yourself or not.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
