I hope it works out for you. I think you're right to stand back, be open-minded but don't believe much of what you see or hear right now. I'd let your H do the work. You don't need to be obstructive (that's a mistake I made) but you will have your own wounds to tend to, your own 180s to develop - and he needs to work on himself a while before the marriage reconcilliation can really start.
