D4’s birthday is coming up. I usually throw her a big party with all her friends, but we clearly won’t be doing that this year, so I’ve been planning for a quarantine party at home with extra special touches.
For at least the past 6 months D4 has been obsessing about it and about whether her daddy will be there. It has clearly been a huge source of anxiety for her. For months she’s been asking if he will come to her birthday even if it’s on a day where she doesn’t usually see him. All along, H and I both assured her over and over that of course he would be there.
I did always imagine that no matter what, we would suck it up and come together for D4’s birthday. Right now, I am struggling with the idea of doing this together. Being around him sounds horrible. I can not break this promise to D4. It would absolutely devastate her and it would break her trust in me. She’s very big into promise keeping, especially lately.
I also don’t like the message that having a “family” party sends to H at the moment. But as I write this, I suppose detachment would mean that I would do what is good for D4 regardless and not think about what it makes H think. I want to address this with him in the most business like way possible. How’s this?:
I’m planning D4’s party and as you know it’s very important to her that we celebrate together, so for her sake I still think that’s best. I’m planning and taking care of XYZ, please let me know if you have ideas or anything you’d like to contribute or incorporate.
