Am I going to disregard 10yr of my life where he was a most wonderful husband.. Just because I don't vilify doesn't mean I.. have put him on a pedestal.
Weren't you here a year and a half ago too?
I read the first page or two of your 2018 thread. "He is cold and distant", and "Trying to start arguments over a can of beans or cookies which I don't take the bait", and "He thought about sleeping with someone else just to hurt me." The forum pointed out his manipulative behavior and attempts to gaslight you.
The last quote is interesting. He was considering cheating on you over two years before he cheated on you. It wasn't one bad decision. His code of ethics is lacking in significant ways.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I always did ALL the cleaning, laundry and putting it away. Honestly I just really love doing laundry - I know what a freak I am. But, that says ---- I have to do it because I'm the only one that does it right.
You choosing to do all the cleaning and laundry doesn't say that at all. I hope that's not your takeaway! Many spouses would love a partner who enjoys and does well at laundry and cleaning. I keep my home at cleanliness level 5 of 10 and my GF prefers cleanliness level 8 of 10. Her doing extra cleaning didn't bother me unless it bothered her. It was nice, actually. Now, if you constantly called him a slob, or stopped him when he tried to clean, that's different. Stopping his attempts to clean or clean his way would be controlling.
