He said he felt like he needed to experience an R with AP and fail in order to let her go. That the only way he felt he could rededicate himself to the M was to try to be with her. Otherwise he would always hold onto her in his head. I said, then go. That is your decision. And he went right back to it needing to be something we decided together. I also pointed out that there isn't really a good chance to test our an R with her in any short period of time. She'd have to move across the country which wouldn't happen for months and him sitting in the basement having phone sex with her while eating meals up here wasn't exactly test-driving his R with her-- it was continued cake-eating. (He actually brought up on his own that he knows wanting both is having his cake and eating it too, so now I can say it to him! ha!) He acknowledged the truth of this. That he'd have to really give it his all with her and that I wouldn't be waiting around. He did poke around a little at this... well, what if you were possibly still interested, there maybe would be a chance for us at that point... I was like, no. Leaving me for another woman is the end of us. Sorry.
Ugh May, he's a mess! WTF sleep with her occasionaly! I can tell you are a highly intelligent woman, how did you end up with such a dumba$$
As well as fall out of love with her, he needs to fall in love with you. He needs to lose you. Look what happened when he thought he was losing her, that she might not be there anymore? At the moment, he knows you are there holding on, with your D and relationship books, etc, he knows where you stand. Now is a great time for him to live his life without you guys. During quarantine. Leaving a family for a mistress whom he cant see might help him get some perspective about what he's holding out for.
Hugs May...been thinking about you heaps!
M:49 H:49 T:20 M:18 D:16 D:14
EA: Feb 2019-May 2020 Separated: Mar-early Aug 2020 H asked to reconcile: Jun 2020 EA relapse: Oct/Nov 2020 Recon #2: since Nov 2020
