I want my D to understand what marriage and vows and faith mean, so I don't have to pretend that what H and OW did for the last six years was okay. On the other hand, I still haven't told her 90% of what happened or that I had cancer while they were doing that. I never told my kids that I had cancer, still haven't told them, because I don't want them to worry about losing me while they are going through so much loss.
None of this is age-appropriate to a 2-year old, you handled it like a superhero as I said, but something to reflect on when the time comes as he grows up, if he asks questions.
This is really important to me as well. I think you can explain what happened in an age-appropriate way without editorialising, ie. “dad had an affair and that’s why we’re divorced” vs “dad cheated and ran off with a sl*tty wh*re”.
The important lesson for the child is this: when you get married, you promise not to have any boyfriends or girlfriends that aren’t your spouse. You’re each other’s special person, that’s what being faithful is. Dad broke his promise and that made me feel very angry and sad, so I can’t be his friend any more. But you don’t need to worry - I’ll always be here for you and I’ll always love you.
