Turning lots of corners - DaB35 Part 8

[DaB35]

OK, It's 9pm here in the UK.

I haven't texted. I decided not to. If I do it tonight, that's way too late and would defnitely feel forced/contrived.
My sister did text XW this afternoon. I'm fine with that.

Gotta be honest - I feel about 20% anxious that I haven't said anything to her. Having thought about it - this is a good way to show her 'this is what you wanted', and 'I'm not in your life anymore because you didn't want me'. Not in a passive aggressive way, because it's not like I have been pursuing sporadically or trying to reach out constantly and got no response. I'm just continuing NC that has been in place fully for the last 13/14 weeks. Neither of us have budged on that. But this is a big thing for me. A definite 180. Previously, old me would absolutely be pursuing. Probably would have got her a present and had it posted to her brother's house etc. Didn't do any of that this time.

I think she may feel sad, maybe angry, that I haven't contacted her. She might be moaning about that to others right now. Or she wouldn't have thought about me at all. I've no idea. I think that's the point. I don't know, and that doesn't matter.

I've been telling myself today: the lighthouse doesn't go to the ships; it's the other way round.

Just ordered a load of video equipment to get to grips with for my Youtube channel! Exciting times.