80% of the day I'm really okay. I've been getting busy and doing my own thing and making plans that are only about me.
I've had time to wipe away my emotions. He is pulling back more from me, hence the retraction from coming to S18 party. I think he is worried about judgement from my family. My family will be nothing but kind to him and all smiles not to mention that only my mom knows.
I told him his mother is planning on coming - which must mean he didn't know this? Maybe knowing this he will come with her? I can't worry about it anymore.
He seems happy. Talked about taking a vaca to see his bff (was supposed to go earlier but COVID). If he truly feels this OW is a better match then I just have to be happy that he is happy.
He hasn't brought up financial order, attys or S/D in 5 weeks. I'm sure he is so happy to have his space and new life -- now that he no longer feels trapped there isn't any urgency to get it done. The line has been drawn in the sand with filing of the S but we literally have no agreement or are currently working on any agreement.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with doing this party planning all on my own - getting rentals, getting it set up. My mom said she would help but not much response from her in regards to that. Why am I falling flat? I was always the most organized planned person --- but maybe that because I knew that H had my back. He was the one last summer stating we needed to do X, Y and Z for the open house. I feel like a fish out of water dealing with this.
I need to get to a place where if he doesn't do something or does something I could care less.
