Thank you - I will pick up the Happiness Trap and start reading.
I woke up today to a text asking about the cable and he thought it was under his name. Its not - he is just authorized to have full access. It was hard explaining that back and forth so I just old him to call as where a couple of other business items.
He called and explained the cable bill - that is in my name and I pay for it. He has a sub-account under me and I will leave it for now so he has time to update his things with a different email.
Unfortunately it did not stick to just business items. There was small chit chat. My tone was even and I did not ask personal questions - only about the puppy. He talked extensively about the puppy - how much fun he as at the family farm with creek, how H hurt his shoulder on a 5mi walk when he wanted a squirrel, to how good and well behaved he was when H went camping last weekend. I asked - did you get a new tent? He said no used tarps - oh, okay.
I reminded him S18 Grad Party is X date. He said he thought he had a conflict and then looked at the calendar and realized he did not. But, then he went on to say he felt it would be awkward ( this is after months of telling me he had every intention to be there for S18). I let him know that only my mother knows our sitch and she has never said a word to anyone. I have been there for EVERYTHING with kids. I let him know that S18's own father will not come. His response "that's not a surprise".
I'm trying to accept that he will be a no show for something that he had been looking forward to for year in planning. But then H goes on to ask when S18 moves to college. I didn't have exact date handy. H went on to say that he would help move S18 into the dorm. WTH? You won't come to his Grad Party but want to help with this? Which I don't need his help for... ---we can manage without you.
I hate this. I really do. He went camping with OW. He has never said it but he feels he has more in common with her than we do... he isn't looking back. They just continue to bond.
Every bit of contact justs gets more akward. Makes me feel immediately bad.
I'm focusing on my weekend. I'm focusing on what I have and working to leave behind that which I don't. For some time I have felt this will not turn around. I need to dig in my heels and keep going forward and stop looking back.
