This was probably one of the toughest reads on these boards in many many years.
You are trying to control her into staying which just makes her go deeper under ground. She’s not ready to go, because she will lose her cake. But since you let her back with a few tears and words, and knows how play you so good.
You both have a lot of issues. You can’t control your wife working in hers but you sure can control yours. Joe joe asked a good question. What have you don’t to work on yourself? What are your changes?
Honestly, I don’t believe cheaters change. A very small percentage. And of that very small percentage , that person has to do a whole of work. Years of work. My ex cheated on every girlfriend he had since 16. He left me for his AP and they have been married 9 years, and I am pretty sure he has cheated on her. Heck, he would probably cheat on her with me.
The more times you let her do this, and by “let” I mean telling her what she needs to do and her lying that she is going to do it, the more respect she loses for you, the more you lose for yourself, and the more your kids will lose for you as you guys go. She will just become craftier on hiding it.
What should you do Curtis? I’ll be blunt. Kick her lying cheating arse out. You should also really get down to the bottom of your control issues and your allowance for disrespect and turn all of you focus on that. Because you have expended all your energy in trying to make her stop cheating. It’s a waste of energy quite honestly. But helping yourself enever is a waste of energy. Hard work? Yes. But it will always pay off
