Yes you’re right, I was questioning my “scorched earth “ approach because I don’t like the idea of him thinking it’s a reaction to his news. And yes, I see your point that that is not actual detachment. If I were detached I wouldn’t care what he thought about my actions at all. So I guess I need to reconcile that with the pride I have and dignity I want to try to maintain. I think the balance there might be to take my key back and make my boundaries clear in a calm manner. And no, my divorce is not final yet.
I definitely see what you mean about my mentioning the way he treats me and shows affection when he’s around. It has fed my hope on many occasions. In this particular case I just find it truly bizarre given what has actually been going on. It doesn’t make me think he is sending me signals, it makes me think he is messing with me emotionally. I think that he probably wants me pining for him despite the fact that he has moved on. He made several patronizing remarks to me today that made me feel that way. “I hope you’ll still be able to have a nice day today” and “I want to start to prepare you for things that will be hard for you”. It’s insulting and it’s always seemed like he likes picturing me crying over him. Anyway, I have done otherwise in the past, but this time I mentioned the affection he’s shown me lately because I think it’s just messed up.
I don’t want to be feeling like this and I don’t like the part of me that is still attached to this man. I am definitely struggling to get where I want to be, but I am trying really hard to get there.
