U and Scout, I completely 100 percent realize that a lot of people here have had a lot worse in terms of their WAS introducing other people to their children. I really do, and every time I read one of those situations, a little bit of me breaks. That would break me. I have so much old trauma from going through that as a child that the idea of it makes me completely sick. May22 has echoed my feelings on it. Just the thought of another woman feeling or being important in the life of my daughter fills me with RAGE. I’m just being honest. It is truly my worst possible nightmare. So yes, I’m grateful that at least H agrees to that on paper, but he’s proven himself to be a habitual liar so I will have to white knuckle it. He has now told me that he just met this person and feels a very powerful connection and would like to be able to build a future with her and is now in a rush to finalize our custody agreement become of it. It makes me completely sick. I do hope that it starts strong and fizzles out, if for no other reason than so my daughter doesn’t ever meet her . I’ll tell him I’ll consider this his six month notice and be done with it. I already told him I see no reason for an in person talk and that I’ll pass on that.
I’m extremely hurt and I’m very sad, but mostly I’m furious. He lied to me over and over and over. And while he acknowledges that, he has yet to apologize for it or express any remorse. It’s infuriating. It’s also one of my major trigger points (the lack of acknowledgment or apology for wrong doing) so I’m focused on dealing with that on my own so as to empower myself by not losing my cool.
It’s also fu**ing infuriating that in the last few weeks, presumable since he started this relationship, he has been more touchy and affectionate with me than he has in a long time. What the F***k is that? It’s all so twisted. All my natural inclinations are to fight against this. But thank you FS for your words. They resonate with me. I will not fight against this. I will sit back and let what will be, be.
I’m considering a scorched earth thing here. Not mean or cold, but setting firmer boundaries (asking for my house key back, asking him to no longer contact and visit my parents at this point, maybe reminding him that we aren’t friends, things like that). But I so worry that doesn’t flow with my continued faking til I make it of detachment. Thoughts?
