DB'ing while living in with a WAS/MLC husband

[BlueSea]

Remember, keep DBing! Continue to GAL. Keep working on those 180s. Most of all continue to be differentiated! Unless you keep this up you are setting up for another BD! Do not fall into the trap I did after my first sitch in 2005!

Steve - you have completely scared me... I have been on the boards, in the archives, digging around for what to do now. Please share your insight on what happened to you in 2005 and what you would have done differently. I want to apply that knowledge to my situation - I DO NOT want to go thru this ever again. Your first go around also lasted 4 months, very similar to mine.

I don't think he has hit rock bottom such that he appreciates me or his family. Is this all just enforcing that he can walk in and out of this marriage at will - that I will "always" just be there for him? We both know I never fully detached. I just read a posting from a husband who walked out and said he always knew his wife would be there - so he just continued to take advantage UNTIL he thought he would lose her. It really was when I told him, that I had come to a decision that I would be sharing with him that weekend... and that Monday (when I had told him it would take a bit longer (i had an appt with a lawyer though he did not know)) he approached me and said he was cutting it off. 3 days later he did 'break' up with her. Its just been a week. But again, the point here, was that until he saw me moving towards seriously dropping him, that he made a change.

I felt like I just got thru hell - with all this OW situation - (and not even 100% sure that will never re-surface). I would really appreciate your input from your experience!!