What I can tell you is that if she ever wants to R, no obstacle will stop her from trying. Until then, consider it all manipulation and further lying to get what she wants. That is why I suggested hoosjim's threads. Once he pulled the plug and his W knew he was serious, she was ready to jump through hoops of fire to get him back. You had one foot in that direction with setting her stuff out.
I think giving her a couple weeks and then telling her that this isn't working and she needs to pack everything and move to her apartment permanently, that you are done for good would be appropriate. Can you tell if she is really going through withdrawals from the A, or do you think she is sad and angry because she got caught...... Again?
Steve, I've read hoosjim's thread, it's been awhile, but I remember the actions he took when he saw his WW with OM in the fitness center. When I pulled the plug on my W and set all her stuff out this time, she knew I wasn't taking this crap anymore.
With that said, she's definitely not doing whatever it takes to make it right and show me she wants to R. I don't feel that, many have said I will feel it without a shadow of a doubt. We are not there, she is ambivalent with regards to wanting to be with me long-term.
When she went NC on April 13 she became sad and depressed during the A withdrawal. This coupled with one of her BFF's leading her to believe that I was cheating on her led to the relapse. My W knows that was false information now and has distanced herself from that particular BFF.
So, to answer your question, I honestly think she is trying on this most recent NC attempt which started on June 1 and she is going through withdrawal and not looking for the next opportunity to cheat.
Me:41 W:39 S:9 D:6 T:20 M:16 PA:8/22/18, BD:11/6/18 PA discovery & IHS:12/3/18, W moves:4/2/19 R’ville:9/27/19, I give D docs:3/1/20 W home:4/5/20 (due to CV-19), W NC w/OM:4/13/20 6/1/20
