For someone that doesn't put much important on the piece of paper, you sure seem to put a lot of expectations on it.
I had no expectations on it. That's why I said, "Unsurprisingly." I believe she had that expectation, however.
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So what did you learn through this? What would you do differently? Likely, you will not agree with how your EW coparents with you 100% of the time. So how will you choose your battles? Now that you are D'd, I am assuming that coparenting in such close proximity will become a thing of the past? That you or she will get your own place? Then these little things like this won't happen because on her day she'll be on her own to put the child down for a nap. But if you are butting heads over something as small as putting the child down for a nap, what will happen with the more weighty matters?
CaptainN, I feel for you, I know you didn't ask for any of this, but you have to ask yourself if you handled the above the way you would have if you and your W were a happy couple rather than a couple that has recently D'd. IE do not let your personal feelings about what has transpired between the two of you cloud how you coparent with her. Children need consistency. One of the worst things that can happen in the dissolution of a marriage with kids involved is for the kids to feel like they can pit the parents against each other. That it is "me and mom" or "me and dad" against the other parent. I've witnessed that, it is has a scarring effect on the child. My W is the child of such an arrangement.
Initially, it wasn't really the nap that I was butting heads with her on. It was the way she just orders me around (and has for quite a long time). It's not exclusive to me, she does it with everyone. At least that's what it was a first. The 2nd part, I got tired of her yelling at our D (I feel she can be borderline verbally abusive at times), and was just trying to pull her out of that situation.
And to be quite honest, that, and the instances where she has put our D in less than ideal safety situations (including last week where she left our D2 alone in the bath while she went and did other chores around the house) make it very difficult to trust her enough to get out of the house anytime soon.
