Unsurprisingly, the piece of paper has not magically made my EW any happier, or improved her attitude at all.
For someone that doesn't put much important on the piece of paper, you sure seem to put a lot of expectations on it.
[quote=CaptainN I sniped at her a little yesterday when she was trying to get our D to take a nap. She was being a bear, and I didn't exactly like the methods my EW was trying to use. I tried to go and see if I could calm D down, but EW barked orders at me, which is something that has really gotten off my nerves, because it feels like I'm some servant/child and not one of the parents. One of the "orders" was to leave the room to leave my D to cry herself out, and as I left, I just quipped, "yes master, yes master." Shortly after this had failed and my wife had escalated things making D cry even more, I went back to try and calm her down, we both reach down to pick her up at the same time, and EW told me to stop. I just looked at her and said, "You escalate."
I immediately regretted it afterwards. Not that I tried to step in, or that I said something, but just the words/tone I chose were not productive.[/quote]
So what did you learn through this? What would you do differently? Likely, you will not agree with how your EW coparents with you 100% of the time. So how will you choose your battles? Now that you are D'd, I am assuming that coparenting in such close proximity will become a thing of the past? That you or she will get your own place? Then these little things like this won't happen because on her day she'll be on her own to put the child down for a nap. But if you are butting heads over something as small as putting the child down for a nap, what will happen with the more weighty matters?
CaptainN, I feel for you, I know you didn't ask for any of this, but you have to ask yourself if you handled the above the way you would have if you and your W were a happy couple rather than a couple that has recently D'd. IE do not let your personal feelings about what has transpired between the two of you cloud how you coparent with her. Children need consistency. One of the worst things that can happen in the dissolution of a marriage with kids involved is for the kids to feel like they can pit the parents against each other. That it is "me and mom" or "me and dad" against the other parent. I've witnessed that, it is has a scarring effect on the child. My W is the child of such an arrangement.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
