Persistent Endurance (Part 8)

[MrBrside]

Curtis,

You must have a love of this roller coaster - as it goes round and round and you never seem to want to get off.

I powered it on to test and discovered that my WW had resumed her PA with OM3. I learned that the phone conversations with him over Memorial Day weekend weren’t a relapse but part of a total collapse.

She never ever stopped being wayward - ever !. You just try and convince yourself otherwise.

So, on that day when the wool was removed from my eyes,

Highly unlikely - I'm just waiting for the predictable ultamatum you will throw her way, thinging it will woo here back

H: “Don't bother coming back until you are 100% committed to no contact with your lover.”
[/quoye]

hmm - i hadn't even scroll down that far to read this bit - your are so predictable. To us and to your wife


[quote=curtis7]I said “You have to decide right now in this moment, him or me. You will not get another chance. This is the biggest decision of your life.

CONTROL and PRESURE - You have learmt nothing in over 12 months here.. NOTHING - You bully your way to get the outcome you desire - But never get the outcome. Your WW can see how predictable you are ( and desperate to reconcile ) so will just tell you what you want to hear.

She had the look of fear, someone crying out for help but to weak to give up her addiction. I couldn’t believe it, did she mean it this time or is this her reaction to fear of being kicked to the curb for good. I told her actions are all that matter now. Her words don’t mean much to me and that I don’t trust her. Actions talk now. She said something along the lines of don’t make me regret this and if I don’t treat her right and regrets her decision, then she will leave.

LOL.. really.... ( bangs head against a brick wall ) - and time for another lap or two on the rollercoast - and more time where you could have been working on you, goes out the window.

WW started justifying her A again in that we were separated and she waited until she moved out.

Again, read whats Sandi writes about genuine remorse and being humble.. This IS NOT remorse - Hence still wayward - arghh

I asked what about since you’ve been back and leading me to believe you were NC with him. Then I asked about OM1 (co-worker). It may not have been physical but you started an emotional affair with him before you gave me the letter (referring to BD on 11/6/2018). I gave her my definition of cheating and that’s anything you share with someone that you wouldn’t want your spouse to see or hear. She said the affair started with OM1 the day after our anniversary in 2018. Completely new information to me, turns out this was a PA over 2 months prior to BD!

I told her a NC letter approved by me and sent to him laying out that it was over forever in no uncertain terms is the first step. She agreed to it.

CONTROL - DICTATING - UNTIMATUMS

This is you through and through - We see this - she knows this .. Hence we all know that she will ignore you.

I asked why she was willing to give everything up for a 2% chance of that relationship working out, if she saw a future. She replied she sees no future for her, it’s a complete void. The woman is completely lost in the fog. I told her I’d prefer not to talk about OM3 again beyond what’s needed for the NC letter.

CONTROL - DESPERATION = NO RESPECT.. I cringe when i see this. The woman is lost in a fog - BUT SO ARE YOU... La la land - 12 months later.. and even then you want her to write a letter - 2% chance ??? 0.00000000002 % curtis as you don't change/

She decided to stay.

As it suits her - not for you

A few days after the ultimatum I asked when she was planning to send the NC letter. She said she already did the following day via email, then deleted the account (her secret online dating email address). She doesn’t know if he got it and hasn’t checked google voice where she would text him. I was displeased and reminded her I wanted to see the letter before she sent it. She said she didn’t remember that from our talk. I asked what did it say. She said it was 3 sentences. It said something like “I have decided to end this relationship for my family. We can have no further contact. I am sorry.”

I asked if she meant what she said about me that I make her cringe. She said there are a lot of past hurts that she hasn’t gotten past with me. She didn’t have those with the OM so she felt a lot of love towards them. I tried to reassure that it gets easier a month, 6 months, 1-2 years later. I asked for a plan for us and said that the first step was no contact so I appreciated she did that.

Still telling her ! You really do come across a controlling.

I’ve decided that I’m at a point in this sitch that if I see something that crosses my boundary, then I’m going to say something or act. No longer will I let it slide. I’m not going back to a life of living in an open marriage, never again.

Doubt this - you don't listen and i very much doubt you can drop the rope.

My W’s affair fog clock was reset to zero.

classic - i'm sure we have read something along these lines before lol.. Honestly ? Seriously ? lol

It was probably the first of her multiple rock bottoms. For those that remember, I took my kids for a 2 week vacation to California and when I returned, W wanted me to keep the kids every night for a few weeks. There are some things I read on her phone from that time period that confirm she was in a very dark place. She was coming to grips with the enormity of her choices and how toxic she was. I’m not going into more detail about that as she seems to have recovered from that low point.

Well she remained wayward for another 12 months - hardly rock bottom -!

My sitch continues.

And always will - because you just do as you see fit.

I’m grateful that I’ve reached this point where R could be a possibility.

You really are intent on pain or are in la la land - like really - this is where you now stop posting for 4 weeks knowing the 2x4 will be coming your way - to then post again in July, posting a similar story again - and the horse will still be there as a lure to keep the WW around- God bless the horse..