I've been following your last three posts--I'm sorry. I was so, so hopeful, and many times I've found strength in thinking, "What would May do?" I agree the next step is to make him face the music--e.g., cancel those trips, file for S or D a.s.a.p., force a buyout or sale of the home, ask him to tell the kids about the D, and depending on your lawyer's guidance perhaps move out and make him pay support. That is a kindness, so he sees what he's losing, before you shut the door on reconciliation. I would not have drawn-out discussions. As Scout says, there are typically legal calculations for the home value, support, and alimony. I hope you can sleep tonight. It [censored] he's making these choices alone for your children's lives, but often "split custody" means instead of two busy parents, kids get a parent 90-100% there wherever they are.
I was so, so hopeful, and many times I've found strength in thinking, "What would May do?" I agree the next step is to make him face the music--e.g., cancel those trips, file for S or D a.s.a.p., force a buyout or sale of the home, ask him to tell the kids about the D, and depending on your lawyer's guidance perhaps move out and make him pay support. That is a kindness, so he sees what he's losing, before you shut the door on reconciliation. I would not have drawn-out discussions. As Scout says, there are typically legal calculations for the home value, support, and alimony. I hope you can sleep tonight. It [censored] he's making these choices alone for your children's lives, but often "split custody" means instead of two busy parents, kids get a parent 90-100% there wherever they are.