Wow - May - what the what?! Hugs to you - I am so sorry to read this.
His requests of you are so beyond reality - lord. And this whole thing with AP seems so dramatic. Did he think she was just never going to sleep with anyone else? Why did he presumably not set a boundary with her so she felt OK about reaching out to him? I have so many non-sensical questions that do not matter. If he does go to her and you wait 6 months (insane), and then he decides to NOT come back, what is the dang point. This is so childish, unrealistic, ridiculous and illogical. (I know you know this). From what you've said about him, he doesn't come off as that type of person outside of this issue.
I hear what you're saying re: he should go since he is carrying on the A, as opposed to you going. As others have said, you do have time. I wonder if it'd be good for you to take a night or 2 for yourself away from the house to really think about what you want and how to get that. What is his reasoning behind not wanting to leave the house himself?
You have way too much self respect for yourself to be putting up with this BS all over again. Dude, treat yourself to that Botox (and then some). I echo the advice you've already gotten in the past few replies - all very good/solid. <3
