We are different people with different situations, but living with someone who doesn’t want you is awkward and hard. I know that there are incredible souls (here’s looking at you, WF) who can do it, but I just couldn’t. Maybe you can take WF’s path and maybe you can take mine (get out if you are not willing to work in the M and be with just me). My H left voluntarily, although he’ll say I pushed him out by making him make a decision.
I know this isn’t DBing, and I too have been scared of ultimatums, but one way to get him out of the house is to instigate a D if he won’t leave. It sounds like that still may mean he is in the house for a while, but at least you will have an end date that you can rely on. And he will know that you are for real that you won’t wait for him. LH said on my thread that he would have helped his X pack her bags. And moved on with his great future. That struck me. As well as the understanding that living in limbo is more scary than D for me right now. But I had time living in limbo (separated) so I feel like I knew all my options at the point I gave H my mini ultimatum.
But as others have said, you do have time. You have had a rough 24 hours and you probably need sleep to support your sanity right now. You don’t have to make any decision right now, or tomorrow or even this week.
Keep posting, we are here for you, May. You are loved and worthy of so much more than you are getting at the moment.
