IW, thanks for checking in... I always really appreciate your comments on other's posts. I think the time and waiting not to make a decision out of emotion is important. I don't know that I can keep standing at the moment, though. I'm feeling like the situation is hopeless and time to get out.
U, good to hear from you too...totally spinning limerence. It is CRAZY to watch now that he's been more sane for awhile how desperate and emotional he is right now. So weird that just two weeks ago we had our long transparency talk and he seemed so much different in how he talked about her and she dropped her sleeping with someone bomb. (But it isn't too late for him! She still loves him so much!) The passion and urgency were gone, he talked about his feelings in the past tense, he talked about how he didn't think it would work out between them anyway. Now all back with a vengeance. And saying he only said those things because he was trying to convince himself of it.
It is pathetic, really. I really don't want to hear about it. I also really don't want to live in the same house with him still actively talking to her. I feel like if I can get to a place of acceptance plus not wanting him to move out, I could try the no R talks and avoiding listening to the verbal barrage of his lost true love, but I am not sure I am ready for more of the same. I kind of want to force the issue and have him decide to go.
Alison, Scout... I know. The six month thing was really gross. And he asked it AGAIN this morning! This way in a why don't we try a trial separation, that he thought space would help. he could live in the office or the basement. I said I didn't see the need if we were going to work on our M, and if he wanted space to carry on his affair he was free to go and I wouldn't wait. He argued with me on this a little, wouldn't it be better for me to have him go and test out this R and if he comes back he is choosing ME, not defaulting to me? I said it was all fine. Go. But I wasn't going to wait around.
Will write more later. Not sure how to handle him maybe moving to the basement.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
