Oh man, this hurt to read. And yet, it's not unexpected.
May, what do you think about taking yourself out of the equation for a bit? Not sure what the covid restrictions are like there, but can you go stay with family or friends or even a hotel for a week or two? Take the kids, don't take the kids -- whatever works for you.
I cannot believe the sheer disrespect of him asking you to give him a six-month hall pass. And then to expect you to be waiting, pining for him in case it doesn't work out?! And guilting you for dismissing his feelings about AP?!? WTActualF. You're his WIFE. What does he think marriage vows ARE? It makes my skin crawl. It's completely craven.
I do err on the side of scorched earth in these situations, as you know, so feel free to disregard anything I say.
I know it's complicated, it's hard, kids are involved, sunk costs, you love him -- girl, ask yourself honestly. Is this love, to you? Is this acceptable, to you? Love is commitment, it's showing up. That's all it is. It's not happiness, it's not lust, it's not anything else. Feelings fade. Love is a choice. He's choosing to love someone else.
