Last week was super tough. After H’s letter saying he wanted more time, I found out that he signed a 1 year lease for a large house. He didn’t ask me or tell me before he did this, which violates our agreement that we will consult with each other prior to making big decisions. I was both angry and super hurt.
A day later, we had a big discussion about D and what it would look like in terms of our business, finances, and the kids. I have been asking H if he knows what the financial implications would be for us in the event of D and he got upset that I was undermining and underestimating him (‘which you always do, that’s why we are in this position…’). Well, during our big D talk, it became clear that he had NO idea what a financially precarious position D would put him and our family into. That our business is both of ours and I would get half, that me being out of the business leaves me without a job (alimony) and that his travel schedule means that he would need to pay a lot in child support to maintain our children’s usual lifestyle, something he is very committed to. We both panicked at the enormity of his choice, but I think the reality of it all hit him really hard. We have each had a consult with L’s months ago, but nothing more.
We had an unexpected expense come up late last week that means we simply cannot afford to maintain two large homes for 6 months, let alone a year. When I found out about this expense, I shared it with H and asked him what the status was on his lease and deposit and could he cancel the lease so we could reconsider our strategy for financial reasons. He said he has been thinking these last few days and that wants to rethink everything anyway. That he has been questioning what he is doing to our family and that he wants to talk when he gets back from a work trip that he is on, that he needs a few days to think.
I am so relieved from a financial perspective, but nervous about what’s next. I guess I will know more in few days, but I feel like we have been forced (by finances) back on the rollercoaster.
