Thank you FS, that is helpful. The blonde is a nominal blonde, I am kind of assuming there is one given his secretive behaviour. If I'm prepared for it, it'll hurt less when I find out, right? Probably not.
I am struggling big time today with feelings of rejection, abandonment and not wanting D. This is kind of weird because I had a nice morning out with a walking group which I enjoyed. Met a nice bloke I wouldn't mind getting to know better, he was funny and interesting and foreign. Not bad looking. We had lots in common. But about halfway through the walk I stopped having fun and started feeling these horrible feelings. It was like stepping back in time 6 months or a year. Strange. I don't really know how to get away from these feelings, so I will just feel them and trust that life will seem less horrible in a few hours or tomorrow or whatever. This process is definitely not linear, is it?
