Thank you May. I know there are a lot of people who care about me. But sometimes, just sometimes, I miss having someone give me a real hug. Not a pity party. Just acknowledging how I feel. In anycase, it turns out that he dropped the kids over his mums friday night (presumably so he could go stay over hers) and I am fine with this. I got a little wound up when I found out mostly because he with-held the information, but I was fine with him spending the night with someone else.
So, things have taken a decidedly worst turn generally. Not in terms of chances of R, those were gone a long time ago. Those that are familiar with my thread know that (after he moved out) my H acted all rainbows and unicorns to the world. All, "everything is fine over here, nothing to see". It wasn't terrible. Yes, we were always courteous to each other (colleagues thrown together on a project who didn't really like one another but maintained an air of professionalism) but over the last few days even this veil has slipped. I mentioned he now sits on the stairs (in the hallway) when he is here and can't wait to leave but now, even our messages are cold. He was 2.5 hours late bringing the children around yesterday (I messaged him (politely) at 2 hours - no response). He hasn't responded to a query about our dog, he didn't forward a warning message about a girl (about D13's) age being asked to get into a van around the corner from ours, I sent him a message this morning asking him to confirm if he was bringing the children around today (nothing). It's like he's avoiding me, even on message. Now I know that some of you will scream "pursuit" but it's really not (they are messages about the children which we have always shared). Some will say be thinking about the tone, for info they go something like this "Hey - are you coming around today with the kids and if so, what time?".
I talked to a girlfriend about this and she says it's because he is realising that the weird arrangement we've had going for the last two years (where he got to have his family, his home and his single life) just won't work where there is a third party involved. The limbo/equilibrium is broken and it is making him uncomfortable. Plus, my apparent 'ok'ness with it all probably doesn't help. But honestly, I'm not sure how else I'm supposed to be.
