Oh, Alison. I am sorry you are in this holding pattern.
However, you are so brave to go where you did with the therapist. That's some tough work and it is to be expected that you feel drained and exhausted. As hard as it is to not focus on your M, the real work that is happening right now is on you. And that thread of clarity is a gift. A well-deserved one that has taken weeks/months/years to obtain. Now that you have that thread of clarity, it's OK to just sit with it. Examine it from different angles. Feel it when you are in different moods (tired, happy, sad, angry, right after meditation or exercise) and just really get to know it. You have all the time you need to act on it. Right now this clarity is only yours, private and safe. Keep it that way until you are ready to do something with it. Or until you gain back the strength you need to take action.
Regarding the negative energy in the house with your H, a dear friend of mine who is an extreme empath and very affected by other people's energy creates a mental bubble around her body (in her mind, it is clear-ish pink) and only love and kindness is allowed into that bubble. Everything else cannot penetrate. Meditation can create some of these shields too. Were you able to do a Zoom meditation class this week?
