Completely lost, where am I?

[SteveLW]

Texan, a few things. Not sure why the read was so tough. Again the author insists the LBH really get tough in order to have a chance at R. Very Sandi like in that advice. Anyway, I won't belabor this but surprised you found it that difficult

As far as the touching, google "touch charges". It is something I employed in my sitch. One word of advice, they need to be subtle. Like lightly touching her lower back as you have to squeeze behind her in the kitchen. Stuff like that. While you're there look into "talk charges" too. They are also a way to start reconnecting subtlety.

As far as the finding someone new. Yep, had same urges. "I am a good looking guy, in shape unlike most guys my age, and make good money! This is my chance at a new start!" But the problem with this approach is that without taking the time to learn and grow you will look back in 5 years and realize you got yourself into the same kind of situation with someone new! Those that do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Plus there is the moral side too. A wring doesn't make a right. If you are going to leave your W do it because you can't trust her again and for what she did. LBSs that wait until they find someone new and then pull the plug with their cheating spouse are just as guilty of cheating themselves! Do it right, D your W, and then after you've had time on your own to deal with everything, go find someone new. Otherwise you're trying to put a bandaid on a severed limb, and that never works.