The Texan, in my sitch I found a book. .... I found the book fascinating.
I have been looking at this and have 1 question: Is this book(s) for just the man, or just the woman, or both? In other words should I let me wife know about this book or is it like the DB'ing book (for the LBS only)?
Mainly for men.
My W read it too. But it is written from the viewpoint of counseling a left behind husband whose wife started an affair and left him.
I'd read it first and then decide if you think your W should read it to. Mine did, and in a way it helped us, because I think she could see I was going to embrace the tough love approach the author supports. But it also hurt us in a way in that she felt kind of justified in what she was/had been doing.
It is insightful. And it also shows that while our behavior didn't help, a lot of this is biologically based.
I have read the book myself. I wanted to believe it when I was still high on hopium because I wanted to think that my WW was a good person and it was not her choice / fault to have affairs. In fact, I wanted to let her read it, but decided against it, since she would just use it as an excuse for her actions. I figured if she cared enough about finding out the root cause of her behavior, she can stumble upon it herself.
Since I have detached enough and moved on, I don't necessarily agree with it anymore. Sure, hormones play a part in everyone's life. But if that's the case, then every woman would be a cheater. And every guy would just say it's nature for me to spread my seeds. Forget about self control, discipline, and commitment.
