Still married couple from Scandinavia Part 2

[SteveLW]

Ben you came here asking if you should have a conversation about "us". You then push back on that and branch into why you stopped DBing (the lump),push back on why you continued to not DB after the lump was benign, and then push back on the not pushing the D to finalized.

I never said to send the D now. What I said was that if you really had no urge to get back together than the finalizing of D envelope would already been sent. The things you are saying are not congruent with each other. I also gave you the advice to set a date for when you would send the envelope. GOALS ARE GOOD.

You are running on instinct here. She emails you about the tumor, you jump right back into playing the role that her H would have played. After it is benign you continued to engage with her despite not wanting to be friend zoned. And you continue to hem-haw on committing to finalizing the D as if you expect some miracle turnaround from her.

We've seen this movie before. WAW wants a D and leaves. LBH starts moving on, and doing what he has to in order to untangle their lives. WAW starts having second thoughts and comes sniffing around.

Do you know which of the LBHs were successful at reconnecting and having their WAW commit to the MR are? Do you think they are the ones that double-downed at that point on DBing principles, or do you think the ones that said "she is showing interest, I can stop DBing!" were successful?

I think you know the answer to this. Just 2 weeks ago we had a LBH whose WAW started to show signs of wanting to come back. He over pursued and chased right back off.

You can DB, or you can follow your instincts. Up to you. I just want you to understand the odds.