i Could be wrong of course. Therapy could be to enhance his relationship with the OW (he went to her for me) and camping is his favorite thing to do. It’s just a vacation.
Gaslighting will do that to you. Focus on your life.
I continue to question whether I was gaslit into insanity or I'm truly crazy. There are times when I think I wasn't always like this or was I?
I was 19 years old and my car was leaking gas, fixed it on my own. Now I'm afraid to hang a curtain rod. Used to travel for a living and now I'm afraid to be in my front yard. I was 15 years and drove a stick shift. S19 buys one, I drive it immediately but cannot go on a real road. Been camping since I was a baby but had panic attacks camping with H.
Last night I felt INSANE like literally nuts. Barely made it through the grocery store and it took Ativan to calm me down. This can't be all divorce related can it???
H is telling D14 that he did all the parenting because I was too "crazy". My father told me he had to do all the parenting because my mother was too "stupid". H leaves D14 at home all the time telling her "you're handling the divorce really well". My father let me do whatever I wanted telling me "I'm raising adults not kids".
**no lectures please - I'm trying to figure out how to handle this without alienating D14. H is NOT on my side**
H went out of town (camping) and left D14 home alone. She texted him at 7pm and he didn't answer until 10am the next morning. D14 was upset over getting dumped by her boyfriend so this was a perfect storm. She invited some random guy over and had her first kiss. She brought a girlfriend (who hid in H's bedroom) in case she got raped. D14 wasn't going to tell me but D17 talked her into it stating that I wouldn't yell at her (I didn't).
My support class is supposed to start up next week, my first IC appt isn't until July 13th (new patient) and I will discuss all of this with my attorney.
My mother wasn't safe so I didn't talk to her plus my father turned me against her. I've lived this life and I'm trying to do things differently since I know what doesn't work. My mother couldn't have stopped me but I would have listened to her as long as she didn't lecture me. I would have spent time with her if she were nicer. She did have some influence just not as much as she would have liked. She couldn't leave and I get that now.
This is just the beginning of what can go wrong with an unsupervised 14 year old girl. So dangerous.
I know because I lived it. I watched my sister live it. Thank you for not lecturing me. It's real easy for people online to tell me what to do because they aren't living with this. They don't have to face the consequences of wrong decisions. She almost didn't tell me what happened. That's where my line is right now. She came over, took my hands, hugged me and told me what happened. I'm kinda in but it's not stable....yet. This is my kid who keeps to herself and I can't help her if she shuts me out. I think D17 is trying to help her by encouraging D14 to talk to me and I'll take all the help I can get.
If you lived it and watched your sister live it, break the cycle and don’t watch your daughter live it. No, I don’t know how to do that because I’m not a qualified therapist or mental health professional in any way. No, that isn’t a lecture, but an observation. Kml is right, such a dangerous situation and a very slippery slope.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
