Still married couple from Scandinavia Part 2

[BenB]

Sorry Steve but that is absolutely incorrect. To begin with, you are right, finalizing the D doesn't stop us from getting back together in the future. But you are 100% wrong in that I saw her reaching out due the lump as a chance of getting back together. I did no such thing. I ignored all her attempts of reaching out until she mentioned that. I am not going to continue DBing when she has a history of breast cancer in her family. If she did indeed have cancer and didn't survive, how foolish of me to stick with DB principles. I put that aside and and went with her to the hospital since she doesn't have any family in this country.

And I think you are misunderstanding. You say I have "urges" to do things. I have an urge to discuss us or I have an urge to get back together. That is what I am disputing here. I never said I didn't want to get back together. I said I don't have an urge for any of what you are saying. I am happy with any outcome. That doesn't mean I don't want to explore the option of getting back together, IF that is even an option. But if you think I am holding on to some hope caused by the lump in her chest and her reaching out due to that, that is simply not true. She found that lump months ago and it took months before I even answered any messages regarding anything besides the hospital visits. I have had my guard up ever since.

But to get back to filing for D, like I said, I discussed with others here who suggested that could wait, now that she and I seem to be connecting again. Of course, I could file for D right now. But you are the only one so far who has suggested that. And I haven't even disagreed with you. I just don't know why that would be important since others seem to think it can wait?

I think it perhaps sounds weak, like I would say "W, we need to talk. What do you see for us in the future". Is that perhaps what you imagine my conversation would be? If so, I understand why you think that would be a bad idea. My conversation would be more like me being clear about what I want moving forward and see how she responds to that. If what I say doesn't seem resonate with her, I excuse myself and move on with my life. Then I can send that letter.

At least that's the plan for now although I am open for ideas and discussions?