but then I lose the Pandora's box of every really knowing if he actually was going to cut it off?
Bluesea this is a false sense of security. You will never really know whether he stays or goes. I had a friend that had an affair for a couple of years. She once told me when I confided in her about my W's EA, that if my W wanted to have a PA, she would. Her exact wording about it was "if someone wants to cheat bad enough, they will find a way to do it." So while depressing, I have to see we have seen that behavior in these sitches. That is why we tell LBSs not to tell the cheating spouse HOW or WHAT they know, but just that they know. Otherwise the cheating spouse will take the affair deeper undercover.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
