Hello. I have one final hurdle to tackle to be able to say that I have successfully DB'd my marriage. Long story short, married 27 years, 2 kids. H had 3 affairs during marriage, with last one causing him to leave our home, move in with OW and create a "family" with her and her son. (she was a co-worker). I was blindsided, knew we were in some trouble but would have bet my life, H would never cheat. Fast forward to two years later and H is home, over his mid life confusion, had many counseling sessions regarding why he had the need to cheat, etc. We are in a good place, with one exception. Our sex life. It is few and far between. He has some difficulty completing the process, he cant finish sometimes, but that has gotten better when we do attempt to ML. The rejection and humliation are devestating. I have heard every excuse in the book from "you are not attractive to me" (which has been dealt with and I have gone back to gym and good eating habits) to " i am just too stressed and preoccupied with my school work" (I knew he needed to be away from co-worker, So I offered to let him quit his 25++ year job and go back to school for teaching credentials, he has been in school now for 2 ++ years and does not work) or "I am too tired". He said he would never reject me again, but If I try and touch him, he will move my hand away, turn away or make it completely obvious he is not interested. Only occasionally will he accept my advances and he rarely inititates. It is not enough for me. It is especially hard knowing he was very active with these other women. He has also told me recently (after 27 years he is now getting to this) that he finds kissing undesirable and he will not say ILY. I did not do all this work to settle for less than he is willing to give his flings. I have tried patience, clothing, inititating and many other things, he just isnt interested. Now he is giving hints to not expect anything from him in the ML dept. while he is going thru finals. Every month there is an excuse. When I finally get to the end of my rope or we discuss in counseling, he promises he is working on it. I need help. Does anyone have any suggestions for me. I dont want to quit now, but I cant live with all this doubt that I am being lied to and he just does not want me and is only home for the financial assistance and our sons (they were not kind to H when he was gone). Please help me. What are the reasons when a man rejects a woman almost constantly. Should I just back all the way off? I am afraid if I do this we may never have sex again.
