I agree with the others-- take your time in thinking about and responding to his request. You are in no rush.
If you aren't ready to move forward with D-- which it doesn't *really* sound like you are-- I think you also don't need to agree to keeping things the way they are now. End the nesting if it isn't working for you. Protect yourself financially. In some states you can have a legal separation and it sounded earlier like you were saying D would be better for you financially than for him-- it may be possible to find some middle ground before pulling the trigger on the D but keeping you protected financially.
Remember-- if he isn't ready to return and work on the M right now, there is nothing you can do to make him be ready. This is his work he needs to go through. It is your turn now to figure out how to support your own needs, refocus on you. You deserve so much more than this.
xx
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
