Trying to be hopeful...

[Pommy99]

Hmm, I had similar request from H -trial separation, although he admitted that during that time he was not planning on wearing a wedding ring as he needed to feel like he wasn’t married to understand what he was losing. I thought this was complete BS and said no trial, If we S we are both moving forward as single people. Anything else is more cake eating. To me, trial S is two people looking inwards, to see how they can make it work. Your H seems to be facing the other way but is asking you to give him 6 months - in other words, be his safety net.

I can sense you are anxious to do something (either MC, R, or press on with D), rather than do nothing. I would suggest you do not need to press on with D, because that is not what you want. There is no hurry to D. As Alison says, formalise the S with new ground rules for contact, kids, finances etc. He needs to know that you are not going to wait around for 6 months, and that he is on his own and needs to live with his choices. Change the dynamic, because the current dynamic is not working in your favour.

Don’t be frightened by what he has said. He is confused and scared about making a wrong decision as well. If he was sure, he wouldn’t have sent the letter. {{{hugs}}}