I'm impressed with your thought process and your resolve. I'm getting stronger every week but ultimately I still fear D.
I don't get any breadcrumbs either... I've been able to get my H through the anger phase. Things are now emotionally neutral to maybe a slight positive.
Right now he doesn't extend any contact to me as a W or STBXW... he calls me up as his vet when there are issues with the puppy. And, there is no guilt or even a thank you when I provide those services after hours... I've realized that is completely on me.
I think right now if he doesn't give into what you've laid out as your boundary you have to follow up as you said you would. If you don't he will never take you seriously. Ultimately if you proceed exactly how you've told him you would he certainly would start to have a lot of respect for you again. Be prepared for anger... and more of it. But, don't back down.
I hope in about 90 more days to be where you are in being able to walk away.
