I think the smallest step towards the MR are ending the EA and starting talks or taking action towards rebuilding our R. It might not even end up as salvaging the R, in the end. But I feel like at no point in our entire situation have we really given our R a chance. In terms of working on those things that broke it in the first place. I have a feeling I know what he is going to say (he is supposed to let me know today at some point). So I am prepared to execute plan b, which is retaining a L next week and learning everything I can about D (I have had a consult so know a little bit already).
The hard thing for me is that I know in my deepest heart of hearts (and intuition) that if he were to just stick it out ‘for the kids’ that in 2 years’ time he would be the happiest he has ever been in his life. In our M, in work and in our family. And I also know that if he chooses his current trajectory, he is going to be 1000x more miserable than he currently is. Strangely, despite my grief, I know that I will be great either way. Plan b will be much, much harder in terms of kids and being a single mother, and having to find a new career once I am no longer working for our business.
I just know I am not going to be OK if I continue on in this limbo. I feel like it is killing me. And I know that many of you are in the midst of limbo or are just on the other side, but my situation feels different in that I haven’t even gotten breadcrumbs. I validate and he spews. Ad naseum. No hope, no signs of any sort of progress.
I’d love to hear if I am doing the right or wrong thing.
