Remember, there is a time for everything, you must wait until it is time to discuss things. Good on you for realizing your desire to tackle things now and the wisdom to wait.
I see the value of this, and am practicing it regularly. I of course find myself slipping once in a while, but I know that each step must take place before the next one can be taken. H I believe is starting to see this too. It's, of course, much more difficult for him, as he is trying to learn a totally new way of thinking, erasing a life time of a mindset that never made him happy.
Originally Posted by DnJ
Originally Posted by Grace21
H has expressed on numerous occassions how he wants to pick up and start fresh with me somewhere else. I keep reminding him that it would not work.
Maybe just validate and don’t tell him what won’t work. Hopes and dreams are powerful fuel and perhaps H could use some right now. Not leading him along or anything, just not crushing a fledgling hope. Reinforce the fresh start, second chance idea; and more ignore the somewhere else part.
I had another opportunity to do just that yesterday. He once again in an email expressed his desire to start fresh somewhere else, but he did say he realizes that it is the "cart before the horse". I said that I often dream about living at least part time elsewhere, and there's lots of places on my list, and that I could see the "value of it when the time is right.".
So, lots of free-thought exchanges going on.
The move is imminent. He just is mustering up the courage to tell her. He fears the fall-out.
