And checking our joint account right now is one long awful surprise. A van hire. He's moving or moved house without telling me, nice. Why is he putting this stuff on our joint account if he's hiding it? Bizarre. A thousand pounds spent in a department store (he is such a hypocrite, asking me to not spend money and questioning everything I put on our card, then doing that?!) Still the large amounts of cash coming out every couple of days. I find this so repulsive and triggering. I hate being lied to, I cannot tolerate this much longer. I am going to email my lawyer and get things started. Last time I saw H he was pretty awful. Snapped at everyone, seemed deeply depressed. Really not fun to be around in the slightest. Ds2 said when he stayed there he couldn't work out what H was doing, he had nearly no work but did not seem to be doing anything else except going for walks. This is the man who could never sit still before. His health problems continue and he complained a lot about that to me. Never asked me once how I was, such a narcissist. I have organised all of the financial paperwork I have and my next step is to list out all our assets etc and document the latest statements etc. It was such a total mess and took about 3 days of solid work but nearly all there. He has still not quite finished his payout agreement but I know how much it is (well how much he says it is) and I think he is going to be leaving work next week.
Enough about my disgusting husband (oh, I forgot to say as well that I was looking through our icloud account and realised that the July before he left in September H was taking the first selfies he has ever taken, clearly he was texting them to someone he was involved in OR he was on an online dating app. Again, disgusting)
Anyway, back to the important thing, me! Online dating is going fine, it's been an education. One or two ok blokes turned out to be married or have complicated stuff going on, so I have an eye out for that. I've had a couple more dates, one this afternoon with a bloke I get on well with, jokey fun texts and we are pretty honest with each other, I like that. He's a bit obsessed with sex though! Another bloke who is very clever but seems a bit staid for me. Another one who seems sweet but our conversations have been a bit dull. Another one who is funny (I like funny men, it's probably the most important thing of all) I know what I like and what I dislike, but you have to meet people to see if there's anything there. I'm not expecting to meet The One but it's been kind of fun getting to know different men and thinking about how different life could be with different people. I've also been meeting up with friends on walks and runs and picnics and really really enjoyed that. I missed people so much during proper lockdown. I'm a bit tired though, too much socialising after so long without!
Job stuff: I'm spending a few days a week job hunting. There's not a lot about. Some of it is short term part time stuff which might suit me till after the D. I'm not desperate to work right now, it's good seeing my friends and having fun, and I think D stuff will take a lot of mental effort. So I'll keep applying and see what happens. That's my update, no change really though I have had a lovely week chatting and being outdoors. Oh, and I went out with a walking group and there were 2 very nice men in that group too, that was fun talking to them! I'd best get ready for my next date now
