Haha Wooba, WF! Wooba, I loooooove that you did it too. I actually also have been getting laser skin treatments After BD, I told H I was going to spend some money on myself and I expected not to hear a word about it. And I didn't. I got some pretty expensive facials, haircuts, lost 20 lbs (now creeping back up), laser hair removal and laser facials (Genesis is pretty amazing), collagen supplements, and Botox. I can do 25 pushups in a row (got up to 40 but that was back in November, been lazy in the past few months). I bought a bunch of new clothes, nice swimsuits, took time to go to yoga and swim. Botox is also the one thing I haven't told anyone about (now except for you guys here!!).
WF, for me it wasn't about telling him what I was doing but just doing it... and yes, tbh, I hoped he noticed. (The laser hair removal was a part of me reclaiming my sexuality and I think when he noticed *that* it was a little of the "look at me getting hot for the next guy" lol). But the majority of it was being confident in myself and how I looked especially if I was going to get back on the market so to speak, and feeling sexy/like a woman instead of just a sloppy mom.
I actually have gone back to get laser treatments the last couple of weeks and he knows and was totally cool with it... and I'm sure that the Botox will be even less potential risk than the laser treatment, which he was fine with. I just have been trying to think about if things were reversed.... we've been discussing the relative safety of everything we've been doing, and I just feel like doing it secretly feels wrong. I don't want to be in a position where it comes back that I did something in secret. If it wasn't for the lockdown it would be no big deal, I'd just still be doing my thing and he wouldn't even know nor would it be none of his business-- Wooba, just like you describe. It is just this weird combination of us in this sloooooow maybe-beginning-piecing place, with me feeling like I'm not secure enough in where we are right now to tell him this one thing, but also that it would be hypocritical of me to do it secretly in the current sitch.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
After BD, I told H I was going to spend some money on myself and I expected not to hear a word about it. And I didn't. I got some pretty expensive facials, haircuts, lost 20 lbs (now creeping back up), laser hair removal and laser facials (Genesis is pretty amazing), collagen supplements, and Botox. I can do 25 pushups in a row (got up to 40 but that was back in November, been lazy in the past few months). I bought a bunch of new clothes, nice swimsuits, took time to go to yoga and swim. Botox is also the one thing I haven't told anyone about (now except for you guys here!!).