Honestly the botox thing is super confusing for me because in my head I would've thrown that sh** in his face the second I did it. Like look at me getting hot for literally any one but you. But that goes back to our petty conversations...lol. But I do get the withholding things. I've been digging in to a lot of childhood stuff with IC and I really really want to tell my this man I see as my best friend about a lot of things I left out about my relationship with my mother and her boyfriends, and her husband. I want him to understand why a lot of the things I do and say are a trauma responses. And that I don't mean to control. Or talk over. Or bury things until I explode. But I feel like why would I want to say these super super personal things to a person who doesn't even know if he wants to stay married to me. Why would I expose my self like that? I feel like the botox is your thing here. Why expose your self to ridicule or judgement or let him into something that made you feel like crap about yourself when you have no idea if investing like that will give you any return.
That all being said, I don't think it's selfish or silly if you get the treatment in a couple weeks. I'm with Wooba. There's a bigger chance of exposure for essentials than something non-essential and if this is taking care of May, take care of May. How you want to handle it with H, well at least you have a little more time to think on that.
