I think the D comment is me bracing for the worst case scenario. I would like to think that the reality of a true split with two homes and the impact that would have on all of us would shake some sense in him, but you are right, he doesn't even 'see' me right now. And maybe never will again.
I am trying desperately to toe the line and validate and remain calm. But he continues to slam and bash me. This super nice guy, treating me like absolute garbage. It is so painful. His guilt and shame is so immense that he can't even look at me without wanting to get rid of me as soon as possible. It's like if he hurts me enough, I will walk away and therefore reduce his suffering. It's so, so hard.
I expect a conversation later today about the nesting situation. Totally dreading it, but also I am so in need of getting to a better place within myself that I just have to do it.
