I have been re-reading the responses and the other suggested links. I know I have a way to go still because I got an email from my lawyer and immediately felt the panic in my gut. I took a breath, then opened and read it. I need to work on that. The good news is that I got past it pretty quickly. A couple months ago that was taking me a couple days everytime anything related to the divorce happened.
She did not see the kids for the first few weeks. Then they started staying with her 2 days. After a couple weeks of that we are now doing 50/50. They are not happy about it and each time they go they let me know that they don't want to. They haven't told me any details about the times they have been there. They basically said they just would rather spend more time at home. I guess that is probably normal for kids in this situation.
I have gone out only a little so far due to the Covid-19 situation. But I have been talking to IC, journaling, exercising daily, reading self help things, spending time with the kids, doing stuff around the house, things like that. I spent a bit rearranging and replacing missing furniture. The kids went to stay with her last night and won't be back until Monday so I have all weekend to myself. I don't have any specific plans yet but I will definitely have time.
