new jimmy here

[SteveLW]

Actually, LH's story reminded me of something.

I remember my longtime, on again, off again GF I've mentioned on this board before. About 4 years into her dating her now husband, and a year and a half before I met my now W, this ex GF called me one fall. She talked to me for 2 hours. And she was saying how she missed me, and what was possible between us. I finally said, "yeah but what about -her BF-?" She said "He got a job offer 3 hours away. I told him I wasn't moving there, and that I didn't want him to not take it for me. So we are probably breaking up." The next hour and a half was her talking in lovey, dovey terms, about wanting to kiss me again, that she thinks about being together again all the time. Etc."

I hung up feeling on top of the world! We are getting back togethert! YEAY! 2 weeks went by, and I got another phone-call. The call was very casual. It felt like I was catching up with an old friend. "Hi, How are things going? Have you been busy? Any exciting plans coming up?" I mean it was very much small talk. There was a huge elephant on the call and neither of us were addressing. Finally I had this exchange:

Me: "So what ever happened with the job offer?"
Her: "What job offer?"
Me: "-her BF's name-'s job offer 3 hours away?"
Her: "Oh. He didn't take it."

It was like a kick to the gut. Suddenly this phone call made a lot of sense. This was her way of letting me know we were back to the casual friendship, occasionally contacting one another, that had developed since we had broken up the last time years before. The rest of that call was a blur. For the next 5 minutes I listned and answered questions with one or two word answers. Finally I said: "Well, I have to run. Talk later." She said: "Goodbye." and hung up. In contrast to two weeks before when anytime I acted like I had to go, she made an excuse to keep me on the phone.

I told myself I would never fall for something like that again. Sure enough the next fall, a year later, she called me and started with things like the first call above. I blew her off. Made an excuse to get off the phone, and hung up about 7 minutes into the call! (This was pre-caller ID or I would not have even answered the phone!)

I found out years later, that the second time fall phone call, where she started trying to talk lovey dovey again, that her plan was to come to my place that day. I had recently moved into a new place and she wanted to come see it. And she made the point to tell me that she expected me to call her back later (she did say "call me later" when I hung up), and that she even shaved her legs. Luckily, her antics the fall before let me finally move on for real. About 4 months later I met my W and the rest is history.