It was a great, relaxing, peaceful birthday. We took 3 walks on the beach, my dad and his wife put together a photo board for me. We had take out Mexican and margaritas. We played some board games. It was really nice. I had lots of reflection as one can only do when you enter midlife. Especially a divorced single mom.
I accomplished so much in my 30’s that were against the odds and I really had to work for. I advanced my degree. I advanced my career. I bought a house. I watched my ex marry his affair partner and Somehow ended up having a good relationship with him and his wife. I went through some unhealthy relationships and cane out stronger and a better woman each time. I feel in love with a man and his child and I lost that and I still survived that.
There is only one area I haven’t been prosperous or “succeeded” and we all know what that is. But I’m pretty successful everywhere else even when it was really Fing hard.
Oh, and I am raising one fantastic kid.
So, I did pretty good in my 30’s despite so many challenges. Here’s to my 40’s! I’ll kick your butt too!
I may be a little chunkier in my 40’s too, but I am pretty healthy, and I still look like I’m in my early 30’s.
Core, to answer your question.......
I’ve been separated /divorced, 12 years. My daughter was a baby, so the first few was survival mode and I had no desire to date. I did date, but I had maybe 2 semi-serious R’s which were short lived and didn’t work out for particular reationships, and one that I thought was going to lead pretty far that was a year long R that ended last august.
Anyways, it simply hasn’t happened for me. I was told for so long it would happen, don’t be stupid, you’ll get remarried, have more kids, etc. never happened. So I am fully aware it may not be in the cards for me, a real long term healthy relationship.
And I guess that’s the rub now. I could be dating some guy. I’m not hard on the eyes, I’m successful, a good mom, independent and a great person, friend, I’m educated and have a career. I treat the guys I date like gold. But unless someone can come close to offering what I can, I’m just not interested. Probably due to be alone so many years. The life alone is not a fear for me. And I’m seeing often times it’s heck of a lot better to be alone than with someone who cannot step up to the plate and I have more frustarion in the R than I do joy.
It’s going to take quite a man . And unfortunately at my age, they are just going through their divorces and are still kind of broken . And have no clue what to do with a good woman who doesn’t cause them so much drama.
So here I am. Preparing for a life without a romantic partner. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Who knows?
