Sorry to hear about your situation. There is a lot of very helpful information on this site and advice from the veterans here (who have alreayd chipped in above) will be invaluable to you.
The main things to focus on are - and please don't groan or shoot me for saying this - 'finding yourself'. For want of a better phrase (it's 10.30pm in the UK here and I'm going for an early night - I'm sure with a bit of thought I'd have come up with a better set of words!).
The hardest thing is the initial stages of detachment. When I went through it, I was constantly worrying about what my XW was thinking, saying. But I realise I can't mind-read, so I forced myself to stop doing that. You will suddenly find yourself in a position where you haven't thought about them for almost a day. But you don't feel guilty. You don't hate them. You don't crave them. You just carry on with your life.
Steve's mantra of "no expectations" is right. Put the expectation on yourself...to have a good time. Maybe you let a hobby slip by the wayside, or you always wanted to take up a new one but didn't have the time/were afraid of starting it. Go places alone (bearing in mind any current Covid restrictions of course!). Exercise. Look after yourself. Sleep. Get a grooming routine going to improve confidence. Act confident; walk tall and slow. It genuinely works. I was a timid meek guy with NGS (Nice Guy Syndrome). Very weak emotionally, poor body image etc. My D went through 3 months ago. I lost a W and a house. And you know what? My XW could be still mouthing off to all her friends about how happy she is and justifying her actions with a long list of things I did that annoyed her...but that doesn't affect me anymore. I just get on with my stuff. You can achieve a lot in this period. It is very hard to believe that, but you must trust the people on here.
I'd recommend the validation and boundaries thread and definitely the Lighthouse story (all links on Cadet's reponse below your first post). This was very useful for me to understand. The lighthouse does not come to the ships. The ships come to the lighthouse. Be the lighthouse.
Me - 36, W - 32 No kids T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr Discovery - 14 May 2019 S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019 D & House sale final - Feb 2020
