Here's the deal. I know one of the big rules around here is don't talk about it. Like our marriages falling to shambles are a fight club. And I believe that to a point, just due to the shame factor, that's a lot to come back from the bigger that circumference of shame is. I get it. But it's kind of unfair that not only are we to quietly wait them out, but we are supposed to do so alone. Granted I'm an outlier as it is because my H was so convinced he and OW were going to run off into the sunset he was aggressively not discrete about what he was doing. The handful of people I let in were already asking what was going on based on his social media alone. And then my behavior, completely dropping out of socializing entirely with or without H, and then going out constantly alone, and with friends I hadn't been out with in ages was kind of a tip. The fact is no one who knows you guys is unaware of the fact something is off. Yes it's probably better to share the details after the fact or not at all. But that also leaves room open for speculation. The world that we live in we are connected constantly. The idea of keeping these things hidden like a dirty little secret is practically impossible. And you, my friend,unlike me are dealing with a very, very long haul. A full blown MLC. You need people. You need a safe space. And you need your tribe. Like everything around here you need to do what best for you and your sitch. My personal take on this is this woman is a perfect candidate to bring into the fold. She is reaching out to you, not H. She clearly is already half way there knowing what's going on basically being dumped as a friend by H. She knows both of you well. She could be a great person for you to rely on, open up to, and connect with.
